Whether it is coming as a complete shock or you have been thinking about this for a while, a divorce is a stressful time and women need to know what to expect and how to prepare themselves for their future. Hiring an attorney, mediation, telling the children and dealing with the emotion issues of a divorce are difficult challenges but are not impossible obstacles. You can come out of the end of this process with your mind and finances in shape.
Begin to plan now. No matter what stage you are in of the divorce process it is never to late to start planning. You need to think about your future and what that is going to entail. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself. Start with budget planning and assess your current financial situation. How much income do you have and how much is it going to cost you to live on your own. Can you afford it? If not, is it possible to change your job, get an additional job or find a roommate? Do not expect that child support or alimony will take care of your expenses. Plan for the worst.
Protect Your Future
If any agreements are made between you and your spouse, try and get them in writing if at all possible. It is essential that you protect yourself from any surprises in the future. You need to stay as calm as possible and remember to make decisions based on logic and not your emotions. Writing out agreements gives you time to really reflect on the decision and think about whether or not it is a good decision and also gives you something to show the courts when the time comes.
Do not make the mistake that so many other women make in thinking that you can't do it alone. This is a time for strength and determination, not reliance on others. If you find yourself relying too greatly on other people, you may find yourself falling into the "I need a man to take care of me" mindset. This is a dangerous way to think. This kind of thinking can lead to looking for a new relationship before you are ready just to have someone there with you. Asking friends for help is one thing and is perfectly OK, but you must learn to rely on yourself for your needs and the needs of your children.
Keep Your Distance
So many people think they can "be friends" after the divorce. This may be possible for some, but for the majority of people this doesn't work. It is essential that you distance yourself from your spouse. This doesn't mean to never talk to him, but it does mean that you shouldn't call him when your car breaks down or the faucet leaks. These are things you are going to have to learn to deal with on your own and bringing him back into your life every time you have an emergency will only prove to be troublesome later on.